A continuation of last week’s gathered panty primer brings us today’s installment, Back to Basics Pt. 1.5: Panty Pros vs. Panty Pas. What are panty pros? What are panty pas? Allow me to explain. And give examples. With pics!
A panty pro is a gathered method or technique employing the use of a panty to support, control, protect, enhance, or seduce.
A panty pas (pronounced panty “pah”, as in faux pas) is an ungathered failure to employ panty pro know-how, resulting in panty fails and various wardrobe malfunctions, i.e. panty lines, wedgies, bunching, rolling, sagging... fail, Fail, FAIL!
Observant fashionistas will be nodding their heads by now as they have seen panty pros and pas because it is very real out here in these streets in real life time and again. With caution, you can avoid this and be known for being a pro, not making faux pas! Here is a list of 6 panty pros to employ and panty pas to avoid. It’s a great list of dos and donts when making your underwear selection for an outfit.
1. Panty Pas: Visible Panty Lines vs. Panty Pro: Invisible Panty Lines
2. Panty Pas: Whale Tail vs. Panty Pro: Panties invisible above the waistband! No orcas or humpbacks in pants.
Noooooo! This is the perfect storm of fashion fails comprised of:
1) The rise of your pants and the rise of your panties do not match.
2) Your jeans may be too small in the seat.
3) The cut of the pants don't flow with your curves.
4) You may need a belt to hold the pants at the correct point on your waist.
To combat this, wear hipster or other low rise panties, but first make sure that your pants fit by "sit testing" them when you try them on. Bottom line: no panty choice can help when sitting down gives you a case of plumber's butt. Avoid crack, ladies... it kills! Make excellent fashion your drug of choice like these fashionistas...
3. Panty Pas: Panties bunching above the waistband vs. Panty Pro: Panties invisible above the waistband.
This one is another case of rise being the issue. Granny panties can be useful under long flowy skirts or for that time of the month perhaps, but employ judgement about the rise of the pants or skirt you wear when you're going to wear higher rise panties like classic panties and control panties.
I know. You looked at this one, and said... panties that fit? Revolutionary. What a grand finale. But it really is, ya know? For some reason, many ladies buy their panties too small. I have no idea why they would do something like that besides vanity, but the truth is, no one knows what size undies you wear. If a pair shrinks, is stretched, or fails in some other way, it needs to be replaced. Gained some weight? Don't be afraid to march right into somebody's store and buy some bigger undies. It's just not worth the wedgie... or the camel toe... or whatever will plague you! Let your bottom be smooth and wedgie free.